So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
