chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
