i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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