she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
