Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
