Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
its liver damage thursday
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
