We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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