the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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