So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
