I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
