if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
