He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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