I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
