Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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