hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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