the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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