i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm always down for nudity.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
