Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
