Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
