I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
