Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
