I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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