my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
