Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
