he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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