the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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