I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
