very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
