I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
