It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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