Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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