mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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