Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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