O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
