I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
