Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
