Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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