I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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