She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
