I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
