dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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