I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
