You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
