the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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