You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
