What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
