Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
