Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
