Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
