First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
