Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
