How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
