I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
