Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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