bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
