Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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