She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
