I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
