bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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